In truth, sadness and anger can be swapped depending on the type of break up, but I wish to focus on anger first. Some break ups are quiet. You start to drift apart and eventually realize you can't stand to be with the other person anymore. Other times, it's a huge explosion of anger, regrets, and blame. These are fast and messy and leave resentment. However, it's okay, too. I do not condone physically violent break ups, though. Instead, I feel this is an emotion that needs to be felt. My Experience: For me, it takes a few days for the initial anger to settle. It's seething anger at this point. I give it time to fizzle out. When that happens, I remember the good times and how fun it used to be with the person. It runs the risk of contact and getting back together with them. If we both have agreed to try better, then it could be something to consider. However, there is a reason we separated. If it isn't anything to be resolved, then it's time to move on. But how? As an example, one of my ex-girlfriends told me that I, "bring nothing to the table." Remembering that line, I knew there was no way I could go back to her. If she felt I brought nothing to the relationship for her, then why be in one? I felt the anger of her words and parted. A few days later, I started to miss her to the point of almost texting. This wouldn't work, though. I couldn't continue a cycle of cutting down my character when it didn't appease her. I needed this anger. I needed it to feel why we weren't together. My go to method is music. I turn on loud, shouting, GO DIE IN A DITCH BECAUSE I'M BETTER THAN YOU! music. There is no time limit of how many days I'll let this feeling last. Only until I get it out of my system will I switch it. My Method: Make a playlist of songs that let you feel anger. My Music (Note: Playlist will be updated as more music is found) - Die MF Die (Explicit) by Dope (Life) - Song for the Dumped (Explicit) by Ben Folds Five (Whatever and Ever Amen) - I Will Not Bow by Breaking Benjamin (I Will Not Bow - Single) - The End of Heartache (Live) by Killswitch Engage ({Set This} World Ablaze) - Love the Way You Hate Me by Like a Storm (Awaken the Fire) - Wish You Hell by Like a Storm (Awaken the Fire) - X Gon' Give It to Ya (Explicit) by DMX (The Best of DMX) - I Don't F**k With You (feat. E-40) (Explicit) by Big Sean (Dark Sky Paradise) - Break Stuff (Explicit) by Limp Bizkit (Significant Other) - Go Hard by Neffex (Go Hard - Single)
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Philip M. WardenI have thoughts. At least, I think I do. Do I? Archives
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